“Confidence is not ‘they will like me’.
Confidence instead is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’.”
Christina Grimmie

Being self-assured is simply being confident in one’s abilities, character, and one’s own worth. It is having a strong sense of self that serves as a guide for one’s actions (instead of looking to others to figure out what to do). Self-assured is the sweet spot of listening to others not because you’re trying to get approval from them, but because you genuinely value their point of view.

How self-assured are you?

When we do not feel effective, our self-confidence wanes. If you are interested in becoming more self-assured, one simple step is to identify something you’ve been procrastinating on and act on it — either decide it’s not worth doing, or grit your teeth and just do it. Another take on this is to do something you’re afraid of doing. Overcoming that fear is a huge confidence-booster.

This week’s Challenge: This week, I will build my self-confidence by checking off a “to do” I’ve been putting off (bonus points for choosing something you’re afraid to do)!

Avoiding being Arrogant (overuse): While self-assured is having confidence in one’s abilities, arrogant is having an exaggerated sense of one’s own abilities. While self-assured means not needing to look to others to figure out what to do, arrogance is ignoring others’ input. In effect, arrogance is self-assuredness on steroids (or, more precisely, cortisol). If it’s possible you are inching from self-assured to arrogant, simply attend to Humanity, Resilience and Wisdom by considering impact on others, being open to new ideas, and considering relevant data.

Commendable Trait: Self-Assured
Underused: Insecure
Overused: Arrogant
Strength: Confidence
Quadrant: Courage

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